Facebook and the real family and friends

To me, online friendship and real-world friendship are the same. There is a set of social code people needs to follow like in the real life. Most importantly we support, care, and love each other, as a family, or as friends.

This is not the case in the online world. We tend to post everything we like or we do not like, and expecting people to like it anyway the thing you like or dislike. It is fine if someone like our post, but is something totally unimportant to us what is happening around our family and friends, except we must share the celebrity post to make them even more popular like it is our mission in life. A good analogy in a ‘normal’ real life scenario is that we go to visit our friends, to share with them the food we have cooked. On another day, those friends come and revisit us with their home cooked food too. However, the reality in the ‘online’ version scenario is that we visited our friends, and then we never see them coming to visit us again. Instead, we read the news and realize that they all have gone to queue up in front of a celebrity home for a visit. Is not that very funny?

As I have started my photography business, and I do not have money to buy Facebook ‘Sponsored Ads’, so I need to rely on my family and friends on Facebook to help me to promote my business (and my blog). One of my Facebook friends W encouraged me to do so. W said that we are friend, we are supposed to support and to help each other. W is only less than 1% of my Facebook ‘friends’ that are willing to help. W even mobilized her friends and family members to help me. I suddenly realize that I should have put more time on culturing real friendship rather than those who have never ‘come to visit me’.

The famous Chinese writer Lu Xun once said, to waste people’s time is analogous to wasting people’s life. So should we waste our own precious life on people who do not even really care about ‘Facebook friendship’ anymore? Let’s be my real friends (family members), to support, to care, and to love each other, in the online world or in the real world. The world may be changing, but not on some social values, and definitely not on the meaning of love.

Further reading:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

 

对我来说,在线或真实生活的亲情友情是一样的。我们都是得遵循一套既有的社会守则。最重要的是我们彼此支持、相互关怀和爱护,像真正的家人和朋友那样。

可是在虚拟的世界‘真实’的情况并非如此。我们把自己喜欢和不喜欢的事都贴在了脸书上,期待脸书的朋友们会‘Like’你喜欢和不喜欢的事物。我们觉得理所当然的朋友来‘Like’我们的贴子,可是家人朋友们发生什么事都对我们无关重要,除了我们必须让那些更出名的明星帖子更加的出名,仿佛这是我们的使命。一个有趣的对比是关于在真实的世界里,我们带着我们自己准备的食物到朋友家一起分享。朋友也会找一天回访我们,一起分享他们的美味料理。可是在‘真实’的虚拟世界里,我们拜访了朋友,可是却永远不见他们的踪影。更好笑的是,我们每天都在‘新闻’上看到这些‘朋友’每天都在明星的门前排队拜访(有没有被接见是另一回事了)。这可不是很奇怪吗?

当我开始建立自己的摄影生意时,我没钱去买所谓的脸书的’Sponsored Ads’,所以我必须依赖我的家人亲戚和朋友来帮我宣传我的摄影的网页(和我的部落格)。我的一个脸书上的朋友W鼓励我说,我们是朋友,我们必须支持和帮助彼此。W只是少于百分之一的我的脸书朋友会这样‘真实’的支持自己的朋友。W还动员了自己的家人和朋友帮我宣传和‘Share’。这使我明白了我应该把时间花在培养真正的友情上,不要作无谓的期待那些不会再拜访你的朋友。

鲁迅曾说过浪费别人的时间就是浪费别人的生命。所以我们何必浪费自己宝贵的生命在不在意你的朋友的身上?让我们彼此在脸书上或在真实的世界里成为真正的家人亲戚和朋友吧,彼此给予对方支持、关怀和爱。世界或许一直在改变,可是有些人生的价值观还是一样的,爱的真谛更是如此。

祈泉 (Qiquan)
2016年5月26日于新加坡

延伸阅读:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

 

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